My new answering machine

Please listen carefully. Some of our menu items have been changed.

Press ONE to hear this message in Pashtun.

Press TWO to hear more choices.

Press THREE to be put on hold and ignored.

Press FOUR to wait while one of our clerks pretends to check on your request.

Press FIVE for the Dunkin’ Donuts men’s room.

Press SIX if you’re feeling lucky.

Or press SEVEN and HANG UP.

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